Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Welcome to Georgia and....

It's my 200th post. YAY ME!

Welcome to Georgia

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, has ever lived in Atlanta,
has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who
already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out
Of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach
Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase,
"When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, where all
directions begin with, "From the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Chamblee, or
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.
And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt
the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the
right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn."

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there so don't
ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if
you want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.

The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are
about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack
a lunch.

The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. The 5 p.m. rush
hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m. Saturday.

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget
all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for
three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15
minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk ,
bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta , which has a posted speed
limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting
run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways: I-285 is marked
"East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals
identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer

If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the
interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger,
unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your
AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia , plus
a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If you notice a vine
trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to
escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu, and
never heard from again.

It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. "Fixinto" is one word (I'm
fixinto go to the store). Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals (even
breakfast) and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
"Momma-nem" means: "How is your Mother and all of the other children
and other members of the family doing?"

If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from
Atlanta, and those who just wish they were.

Lordy, I love Jawja!


Blogger Big Pissy said...

True! All true! lol

12:58 PM  

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