Below the Surface

We've all had our hearts broken at one point in our lives for many different reasons.  And, like the individuals we are, we deal with it differently.  This is how I dealt with mine and I've never shared it before. But, it is time.

One Time 
                                                            
 
One Time
Your smile
Caught
My eye
And stole
My breath
 
One Time
With reckless abandon
I threw open
The door
To my heart
 
One Time
We danced
And I
Was overjoyed
 
One Time
We shared
A drink
And spoke
Old(e) English
 
One Time
You said yes
And we
Shared
A life
 
One Time
We found
A new home
It was cold
And I felt
Alone
 
One Time
We were apart
But found
Each other
Again
 
 
One Time
“I’ll tell when”
But it never
Happened
 
One Time
Often feeling
Like a
Dirty secret
Crying alone
“What’s wrong”
Nothing
That can’t
Be fixed
 
One Time
Excitement about
A career
“listen to this”
“work is not for home”
The door starts
To close
 
One Time
I asked
“join my friends”
“it’s too far”
Late coming home
“I had drinks”
You said
I swallow hard
The door
Closes
More
And I don’t
Know how to
Stop it
 
One Time
Nervous
I didn’t go
To your friends
Party
Stubborn
I felt
Horrible
And the door
Closes
More
 
One Time
Holidays
Always spent
Alone
(sighing)
The door
Closes
More
 
One Time
“did you read”
I lied
Said “no”
But had
And felt
Disgusting
In my own
Skin
I heard
“you’re too fat”
The door
Closes
More
 
One Time
Spent solitary nights
On the couch
World’s away
Separated by
A wall
The door
Closes
More
 
One Time
Left behind
Oceans apart
Faithful
Not you
I never knew
Still loved you
The door
Doesn’t move
Time stands still
 
One Time
Wry smile
Those words
“I’m not in
love with you
anymore”
The door
Slams
Shut
Time races by
I am
Speechless
 
This Time
Is for real
The silence
Is
Deafening
The lies
Have
Stopped
The door is
Sealed shut
The world
Has exploded
Inside
My head
 
This Time
I am
Ripped
From the
Whole
 
This Time
Healing
With
Friends
Helps
I forget
Your
Smile
Sound
And scent
 
Now
I
Am
Healed