Friday, December 01, 2006

6th Grade

6th Grade - Mr. Watts and yeah, I said Mr. Watts with a great amount of disdain in my voice. I didn't like him, he didn't like me. He also didn't like my parents and because I grew up in a small town, I was often reminded that I was "my father's daughter." Just so you know, my father graduated from high school, but never went to college, not without his fair share of trouble. It was more mischief than physical fights and things of that nature.

Anyway...Mr. Watts reminded me of Groucho Marx. He had that little mustache, that looked like a wooly bear catepillar sitting on his upper lip. He wore glasses and had black curly hair, and now looking back, his humor wasn't funny, he was what we now call a smartass. What did I know, I was 12 and never talked back to my teachers. (Well, yet, anyway ;) In fact, sometimes we called him Mr. Twatts. Yeah, ok, again, we were 12.

In the 6th grade, I was introduced to Billy Joel on a 33RPM, hey it was 1984, we still had record players, tape decks, boom boxes, hell, my Dad's '78 Pontiac had an 8 track (Doo Doo Brown - awwwww yeah!). Me and Sue Clothier and Amy Burnham listened to that record every day and I got into trouble for talking too much. I wasn't the only one, but I was the one that got caught. Well, I had to finish my thought, didn't I? That little problem got me a seat in the corner permanently, facing the wall. So, being bored, I poked holes in the cork bulletin board and when it came time to take some construction paper and decorate for Xmas, Mr. Watts said, "I see Jeri's already picked her spot to hang her picture." So, I made a kick ass wreath, with Elmer's Glue, green and red glitter, I got mad skillz. My mom liked it, so I didn't care. I'm sure she still has that in her Xmas box.

And in the 6th Grade, I got in big time trouble with my MOM! All my friends were wearing makeup and I wanted to wear it too, so...because my mom wouldn't let me have my own, I took hers to school one day, with every intention to bring it home that night and mom would have no idea, right? WRONG. Because like a DUMBASS, not only did some of the other girls use it (but not much), I FORGOT TO BRING IT HOME!!!!

The next morning, my mom gets up to get ready for work, and all the sudden I hear, "where's my makeup?", I didn't answer. "JERIRAEELLIS (now you know my real name, feel free to send GIFTS, I'll send my address), WHERE IS MY MAKEUP?" Oh shit, the FULL NAME, I was in HUGE trouble. I said, "um...I brought it to school and I forgot it and I'm sorry, butalltheothergirlsmadefunofmeandIwantedtoseewhatitwaslike." I said very quickly. My mom was FURIOUS. She said, "let's go, you are going into that school and you are getting MY makeup so that I can get to work." Small town, we knew the janitor, were friends him and his family, he let me in early and even he knew, shit, this kid IS DEAD!

I got my mom's makeup and gave it to her but not before she said "you are too young to wear makeup, you don't even know how to put it on." And, I didn't. I didn't get spanked, but boy I knew my mom was so mad.

Oddly enough, to this day, I don't wear makeup, maybe a light coverup, but that's it. However, I LOVE to watch women put makeup on. I'd watch my mom, my grandmother and now I watch my girlfriend (hi B), put it on. I don't know why I do this, but I do and it fascinates me.

2 Comments:

Blogger PhreaqueOnaLeash said...

Hi, J. ;)

Mr. Twatts! I love it. I like to watch you put your cover-up on, too.

Love,

Big E.

12:36 PM  
Blogger dirk.mancuso said...

My 6th grade teacher was a super duper religious fellow named Mr. Powell who sort of got the nancy-boy vibe from me and wasn't sure rather to stone me or pity me.

Man, I hated school.

As for make-up, I guess that is the lady version of having to shave. I'm giving thanks right now that I'm not a woman. I can go for days without shaving.

7:59 AM  

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