Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Quandry

I'm in a quandry you guys and not sure how to handle it. I met a woman, online, who's 40. She has a 20 year old and 17 year old twins. We met and had lunch and the conversation was slow going at first, but then picked up and moved along nicely, until this major bump in the road.

She asked me about myself, family, etc and as I was telling her that I was the oldest and had a brother who was to turn 30 this year, and a sister who is 20 and that I was first time aunt and it was my sister's baby, she stopped me with this comment - "So your sister started her life out with a bang (pause), quite literally." My jaw clenched so hard my neck started to hurt and I felt my eyes narrow.

Very few events have caused me to be at a loss for words and usually it's significant events such as funerals, unexpected deaths, etc etc, but that comment, that comment made my brain feel like it had slammed into the front of my head and then it came to a complete stop. I saw red, instantly. Thankfully I'm a quick thinker and can keep my emotions under control. In response to that comment I said, "well sometimes we get started down the wrong road in life and it takes a life altering event to put us back on the right road", and I gracefully changed the subject.

What I really wanted to say was this:

"Let me do the math for you, honey, because in case you've not realized you have a 20 year old, you're 40, which means you fired up the 'ol baby maker when you were 19 or 20. Three years later you had TWINS, that makes you oh, what, 23/24 with 3 kids and there's nothing wrong with that, but don't sit there playing the role of pot while calling the kettle black."

I'm very protective of my sister. I'm 34, she's 20, so it was hard for me to be a sister and not a mother. Although Im sure, sometimes I was a MUTHA in my sister's eyes.

That woman made that comment knowing nothing else about my sister, her background, etc and yet felt the need to crucify my sister in the manner that she did, when she has no room, QUITE LITERALLY to talk.

What she doesn't know is that my nephew saved my sister's life. In my heart of hearts, I know she'd be dead by now if not for him. Sometimes, what seems to be the wrong choice for many, is the most significant choice for some.

I won't be having lunch, dinner, phone calls nor email conversation any time soon with that woman simply because with one sentence she tore down and complete restructured herself into someone I don't want in my life in any capacity.

4 Comments:

Blogger Debbie said...

People never cease to amaze me. You don't need to surround yourself with asses like that.

2:21 PM  
Blogger hotdrwife said...

Good grief!! I second FreshAir's comment. I can't imagine saying that to anyone.

6:08 PM  
Blogger dirk.mancuso said...

By and large, more and more, I find that the majority of people are class acts.

And most are single for a reason.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Girl Shutterbug said...

I was 18 when I gave birth to my daughter and while I don't know that she saved my life - 14 years later I know she has and is making me a better human being.
This woman is an idiot ... Consider yourself lucky to have found that out early on....

Congratulations to you and your sister. :)

5:00 AM  

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