Monday, July 26, 2004

ME HULK (aka the Intimidator)

On top of the fact that I'm an Angry New Yorker, apparently, I'm also intimidating.  This is what I was told by my ex. Let me set the story.

At the house, some people had stopped over, one of them being a friend of the ex that we'll call "R". Well, "R" had too much to drink coupled with the fact that she was tired so as she reached for her beer, she spilled the last bit of it on an envelope with some documents in it.

NO BIGGIE (in caps for a reason). I got up, carefully picked up the envelope as I could move faster at this point, and was envisioning beer hitting the hardwood floors that I am installing myself, yes, REAL hardwoods that you have to nail to the floor, none of that glue crap for me(flex) and took the envelope to the sink, dumped in the remaining pool of beer, grabbed a paper towel and wiped the envelope off.

Okay, so maybe my stress level did elevate slightly, but that's because blatant carelessness bothers the hell out of me, always has.   Then I was asked by "R", "oh was that yours?" and I said "no, but no biggie, it was so and so's" to which "R" responded, "oh, then she won't mind."  Yea, like I'm going to take your damn head off over an envelope with spilled beer.  Now, if you spilled it on my term paper, then I'd take your damn head off down to you knee caps.

So, after everyone left, I asked my ex (yea will still live together, separate bedrooms, don't ask), I wonder what "R" meant by that, asking if it were my envelope. To which I was told, "because you're intimidating."  So, when I returned from reeling, yep, it's on the corner of "you've got to be kidding me and what the hell", I said, "no, I'm not." Assertive? yes, stand up for myself?, yes, not put up with stupid bs?, yes, I'm all that.

Intimidating? no way.   I even had to ask my friends to validate this because I am that much of a pushover.  I took a deep breath upon hearing that, shook my head and walked back upstairs to go to bed.  The whole time thinking, if not cowering to others and and not giving in to others, and not being afraid to speak your mind makes me intimidating, then so be it. But I will not travel down that road labeled "too sensitive" again and be pushed back into my shell like so many times before.

If "R" can't handle that, that's her problem, not mine.


Blogger From Grits to Gringa said...

Well, I think you handled that perfectly. That would have to be insane living with your ex like that. Come to think of it... I tried it once for a short period and it was insane. Maybe you should be living somewhere else. Is that possible or are you pretty much stuck there for some reason? Your color is bright red today.. heh? Fire... and that's good to get heated sometimes. Blogging is a great way to let it out. I internalize things way too's a strength and a weakness. If I didn't I wouldn't care when people I care about hurt themselves or when someone says something to me and doesn't think another thing about it but I do. Oh well. Writers are that way. Artists are that way. We see things in different colors than the rest. Just keep writing. It will help more than you know! Hope your day goes well....

11:29 AM  
Blogger From Grits to Gringa said...

WHERE R U? It's Friday and you haven't posted since Monday! You must be out having fun or something!! Share share...

10:53 PM  

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