I Confess

There are some things that I can't quite wrap my head around and I think it's because I wouldn't do these things, so why would someone else. One of my largest flaws is that I tend to hold certain people to the same standards as I hold myself. These are pretty high, reasonable, but pretty high.

I try to be a good person, I try to do that right thing, I try to overlook certain things or just brush them off, but...when you do something for someone and then see the reaction to that weeks later, it's hard to not think about things and think hard.

For example, last year at this time, I literally bought 150.00 worth of groceries for a co-worker who is a single mother with 3 kids. Why? Because of the 3 kids. There is no way in hell, I'll let kids go hungry, no way, because they don't have the ways and means to get their own food. That didn't bother me. What bothered me, is that I got not one word of THANK YOU from the mother, but yet 2 weeks later, she was talking about how she and her girls went out for drinks and a night on the town. But yet....you can't afford groceries? You can eat out for lunch EVERYDAY (I don't even do that), but you can't afford groceries? You HAVE 3 KIDS all under 10.

Another example, a co-worker sent out an email that she was going to Jason's Deli and if anyone wanted anything, let her know and give her the money. Fair enough. I jokingly, this co-worker and I have known each other awhile and are friendly, responded, "so you're not buying"?, she said, "nope, not for you, I'm just organizing." Fair enough. So I went over to her desk and said "you really wouldn't buy me a sandwich"? She said, "why should I"? with my favorite "I just smelled shit look". I walked away. Just so you know, I gave her 30 bucks to fill her car up with GAS so she could get to work when gas prices were outrageous. You know what? I had to go without a few things that week because of that.

Before you ask, no, I'm not complaining, it just boggles my mind that now I don't even EXIST to these people...wonder why?